We’re currently in that weird warp where December seems to be over in a blink, which is weirdly
followed by January which seems to go on forever. When life seems to be going a million miles an
hour, it can feel difficult to manage which can make us feel stressed and overwhelmed.

Some of us may be balancing work, study, family commitments, health issues, social lives and of course cheer.
And when it comes to cheer it’s not just turning up for an hour a week, it’s the travel to and from,
we could be coaching too, additional classes, socials, comps. It’s a lot!

Sometimes when things feel overwhelming, we look to see what we can give up. We can’t stop working, we can’t stop our family
commitments, so we sometimes turn to cheer. But usually, that first thing we think to give up on is
the thing that helps us get by.

Cheer can definitely add to the stress sometimes, I know that, but cheerleading, sport, and physical activity can be a great source of comfort for our wellbeing. The very act of physical activity can help our body’s let loose, deal with the stress, and also provides
those feel good endorphins that make things feel that bit better.

If you’ve been feeling this way, you’re not a terrible person, you’re not terribly disorganised and
you’re certainly not alone. Life has a (not so) funny way of throwing curveballs just when we need
them the least. I’m a big list person, and when things got too heavy for me, I wrote a list of all the
responsibilities I had. From work, uni, my dog, wedding planning, cheer, other hobbies, writing blog
articles, family, social life, the lot. Once I wrote them all out and saw in black and white what I was
juggling, I realised it was quite a long list.

Then, when I showed it to someone close to me who was somewhat objective, they were able to see it differently to me and said it was just too much.

What I did next, was rank these responsibilities as the negotiables, and the non-negotiables.

The non-negotiables for me were things like my job and caring for my dog. These are the things that you
absolutely cannot live without. If I quit my job, I wouldn’t be able to pay my bills, or pay for anything
else on the list. Another example could be looking after family if you have caring needs. It’s difficult
to list examples, because I imagine this will be so different for everyone.

I then had two levels of negotiables.

Firstly, were the negotiables where I have a responsibility and
most likely deadlines to adhere to (like being on a cheer team, wedding planning, university). And
the final category is the slightly more negotiable-negotiables. These were things like my social life.
Whilst having a social life is important for a number of reasons, this, for me, is the easiest thing to
drop without repercussions. Again, this will be different for everyone.

I’m getting dizzy with the number of times I’ve used the word “negotiable”, but basically, I ranked all
my responsibilities to the most important to potentially the least. Now that list might change
depending on what time of year it is, what time in the season it is, and generally what you have
going on at any one time. The ranking was really tricky, and it felt really uncomfortable. As we know,
sometimes it’s the most uncomfortable things in life that help us grow the most. Alongside ranking
them by importance, I then did a second list ranking them on the amount of time I currently put
towards each of those responsibilities. Realistically you would think the most important has the
most time spent on it, and the least important has the least time spent on it. But what you realise in
doing this task is that it’s usually the things in the middle that take up the most of your time, or you
spend most your time on. And that can sometimes be why life feels so unmanageable, because the
things that are most important in your life, or the non-negotiables, aren’t getting enough time to be
satisfied. If you don’t already use a diary, it can be an absolute game changer. Again, it helps to block
out your time using different colours for different responsibilities. That’ll give you a good idea again
how much time you’re spending on each of your responsibilities and if it’s reflective of what’s truly
required.

I’d invite you to try this out if you haven’t already. At the very least it’ll help you understand just how
many responsibilities you have and may help you give yourself a break. If you really are doing too
much, it might be time to let go of something. Everything might seem super important, but what’s
most important is you, your health and your wellbeing. You can’t pour from an empty cup. Looking
after number one isn’t selfish, it’s actually selfless. Think about it. If you’re so stressed both
emotionally and physically (because it’ll likely start showing physically), you can’t be there for
others. The only way to be there for the people in your life that may depend on you, is to make sure
you’re looking after yourself first.

If you do lead a busy life, you might want to try and reduce your decision-making. What on earth do I
mean by this?

Well, we only have a finite number of decisions we can make each day before we start
to feel overwhelmed.

Now I go a bit overboard with this, but I make decisions for myself way in
advance so there are some decisions I don’t even think about making anymore.

Firstly, I made a monthly rolling meal plan. I have a 28-day meal plan where I have 28 different dishes (sounds a lot,
but it’s not really) that I’m going to make for tea each day.

I then make enough to have for lunch the next day (I say “I”, it’s usually my partner). This reduces planning of those shopping trips because I
don’t need to think about what I’m going to cook and therefore what I need to buy. I have a similar
plan for my working outfits. I have about 15 outfits (again, sounds a lot, but a lot of these outfits can
be worn in and out of work, include casual, business-casual and formal/social outfits). Each outfit I
put on a hanger in my wardrobe, including underwear to go along with it. When I wake up in the
morning I pick the hanger at the front, and the hanger goes at the back of the rotation at the end of
the day (even if the clothes on the hanger go in the wash). People often look at me like I’m crazy
when I tell them. But I love all my clothes, I don’t own any I don’t like, so I’ll always like my outfit.
And the food plan, I like all the meals in the plan, so I’ll never be disappointed.

Whenever I start getting stressed and things start piling up and I’m feeling like I’m drowning, I think
about how many decisions I’m making a day. 9 out of 10 times when I’m feeling overwhelmed, I’ve
usually let my meal plan or my outfit plan slip, or both. And that’s not to say either one of those is
the reason why I’m stressed, but potentially those extra decisions have amplified everything I have
going on at that moment in time. And I’m not saying these are the keys to success, planning every
aspect of your life to a tee, but have a think if there is anything in your life like this that you could
pre-plan. It might not be having a full month’s meal plan, but how about a week’s worth of meal
planning? You might not want to have a weird outfit plan like me, but you could potentially plan
your outfits out for the week ahead. There may well be other aspects of your life you think you could
bulk plan in advance. It might seem like a big task to begin with, but overtime you’ll save yourself
time, stress and decisions.

Another activity which is always good to do this time of year is a vision board.

If you’re not sure what one is, search it on Pinterest for inspiration or YouTube on how to create one. You can create it with
print outs, online, I’ve even heard of people using them as their screensavers – which have shown to
be really effective. They can be created for each year, 5 years, or 10 years. They’re primarily used for
goal setting, but this can be really helpful to understand your priorities. And once you know what
your goals and priorities are, it’ll help you manage your time and split it accordingly.
I love the phrase, “learn to rest not to quit”. Sometimes things get too much so you need a break.
That doesn’t always mean you should quit, especially if it’s something that brings you joy. Often, it’s
that joy, or the small wins that make you smile during the fog of overwhelm. So, if things are really
getting too much, how about taking a break first, before cutting it out completely? However,

sometimes we do need to take a step away from the things we love. That doesn’t mean you don’t
appreciate that experience. You can absolutely love everyone involved, but it might just be the thing
that’s tipping you over the edge. Those decisions are the absolute hardest.

The first thing is being completely honest with yourself. Some of the activities above may help. Next, you need to be
completely honest with whoever or whatever it is you’re stepping away from. One of the reasons it’s
hard to step away is likely because you feel like you’re letting someone down by stepping away.
Perhaps because you really value this person, they really value you, or hopefully both. But if this
person really cared about you, which I hope they do, they’ll understand that you have to put
yourself first.
Health is wealth people!

One last thing I think is important to remember, is that you never have to go through this alone.

When things creep up on us like this, and it’s difficult to manage your time, talking it through with a trusted friend, family member or even colleague can really help. They can give you that objective opinion and see things differently to you. If you’re surrounded by the right people, they will likely have an idea of what is best for you also.

If you don’t feel like you have anyone to speak to, how about a coach or member of staff at your programme? Is there someone at work you can speak to, a supervisor or manager?

These are things I always talk about in my supervision sessions or meetings with my manager. It might not always be completely work related, but what’s going on in my outside
life will likely affect my work – so it’s all relative. If you find it easier speaking to a stranger, there are
definitely organisations that are ready and waiting to speak to you.

The Mix are great if you’re under 25, Shout are fab, and the Samaritans. Don’t ever think you’re not “bad enough” to receive support.

Preventative steps are always much better than reactive action.

These people and organisations can give you objective, confidential and non-judgemental advice.

From personal experience, as well as working on a Helpline myself, this advice and time can be invaluable.
I really hope you got something out of this article.

The holiday season comes with a number of
stresses and added tasks. But this is relevant throughout the year also. Just remember, the rain can’t
last forever.

Sometimes it’s those difficult decisions that give us the freedom and time we need to
look after ourselves.

However you’re spending the holidays, whether you celebrate or not, I’m sending lots of peace, love
and health your way.
Take care,
Rach x

Written by Rachel

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